Not recommended – a poem

Tap here for the audio version.

This one is probably just for fellow painees. Others are welcome, but be aware it might be hard going.

How I got to now

Sunday: 2 hours of unexpected VOC exposure.

Monday: massive (for me) radiation exposure, over 1 h.

Tuesday (today): trigger point injections, 3rd or 4th I’ve had. Each is more painful than the last. This one was epic, and there’s nothing I can do about it cuz mast cell dysfunction and cytochrome (genetic) variants mean that pain meds give me all of the side effects and none of the benefits.

This isn’t about whining. It’s about naming a very bad day. Then, one breath or minute or hour at a time, moving on.

This poem fell out of my keyboard today in a comment on socials:

High on pain. Not recommended. 

Of all the highs that touch the skies,
Most humans choose from chemical vibes:
From mickey to fin, from plants to sin,
Delight is the evanescing disguise

That covers the deep unknowable scars
We tend to bear, when off to the stars
We go, and throw our pain in the bin
For respite or maybe transcendence– too wise
To hope for remission, that damnable prize
Of luckier chemistry, luckier lives;

Decades in,
Pain is untreatable, sometimes unbeatable,
And all I can do is rise… and rise…
And not give in.

 

Copyright me, 2026, the year Hell opened its maw for us all.

P. S. ~25 years in, I’ve tried everything and some days are like that. Heigh ho. Moving along…