This is a long one. Grab something to drink and put your feet up, if you want to…
In the wildly unlikely event that, say, a vulnerable American citizen felt moved to respect the anti-immigration feeling and return to the lands that, say, my ancestors left in the 1600s and 1700s… how would that work?
It helps if you already have a passport. This is important. Go here:
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports.html
and follow the instructions there – whenever you land on it. Passports are issued by the State Department, and the State Department is currently being defunded and depopulated, so their processes may change.
This hypothetical traveler – let’s call her Max Peregrine – and why not? – is female, disabled, poor, and has very short hair. This puts her in several categories of risk in the US in 2025, and she’d like to know what other options there are for someone like her. Her service animal, a minature goldendoodle, has to go with her.
This is important.
Max has learned that a pet leaving the US has to get a certificate from a vet specifically qualified to issue international pet health certificates. She asked her usual vet, who referred her to the USDA web site to find one.
The USDA has been running increasingly lean for years, and has recently been gutted by the incoming president and his team, so the list of vets qualified to give this pet health certificate is out of date.
Max has been disabled a long time and is used to this kind of disappointment, so, after an Epsom salt bath and a TV break, she called down the list of veterinarians in the area until she found one who can (theoretically) give this certificate.
It took the one vet she found 3 weeks to research whether this is even possible. The USDA (which supervises animal health certificates for travel) is running out of staff, after all, and every country people want to bring their animals to has its own peculiarities over what is required to clear a pet for arrival, so it gets very complicated very quickly.
Sadly, the information that non-vets like Max find about import requirements is less than half the story.
Also, the US export process is complex in itself, and requires a 3-hour minimum turnaround between the vet and the USDA for the form to be submitted, reviewed, inspected, corrected, approved, and printed out. That is, if nothing goes wrong.
This vet certificate has to be issued within 10 days of departure (in some cases, 3 days, depending on the country the traveler is going to) so it’s good to start this process well in advance, and be willing to stay flexible.
If, like Max, your pet had an uncertain history or belongs to someone with limited mobility, it’s possible you’ll hit a snag: if the initial rabies series was not done exactly right, you might have to start the series over, do a blood test in 3 weeks, and be sure to get the next one inside of a year.
If you travel to Europe, you’re in luck: go to a certified vet there and get your pet an EU Pet Passport. It’ll make everything a lot easier as it’s widely accepted.
It’s important to remember that Max belongs to a category of people who can’t afford a package trip, nor a concierge trip. She has to do all the planning and reservations herself, and track all that info if, for instance, her pet’s initial rabies vaccination did not happen exactly as intended, and every leg of her trip has to be adjusted, by herself, one piece at a time.
Every transport company has their own pet policies, so she also has to call every single carrier in the chain of the journey to make sure her pet reservation has followed her.
It’s fortunate for Max that her executive function happens to have extra bandwidth for travel planning. It’s in her DNA. Her ancestors have been traveling for at least 350 years.
Since Max’s mini goldendoodle, a girl named Sam, is a Service Animal, there’s no question of that pet being refused. She has to fly with her person.
However, her paperwork still has to be in order!
So, having rectified the rabies shot situation, changed the entire trip to 2 weeks later to make sure her dog can come, and found half a dozen places to get food that matched her dietary requirements in each place she planned to stay in, Max was smart enough to know she could not possibly relax until she actually had her toes in the sand and her dog in her arms at the same time. The preparation for this trip had only just started.
Max is probably a bit overwhelmed, but can get good advice and good tools. She got Smart Tags for her luggage, found friends willing to be phone buddies to use Find My Phone to watch her progress, set an alarm to remind her to turn on Location and 5G at every transfer to give Find My Phone a signal, and then returns to low-rad mode so she’s not battling cyclical vomiting syndrome (which is what happens when she’s around too much signal too close to her body) while conducting a long trirp.
Cyclical vomiting is never fun, but it’s worse all around when you’re packed into Economy class.
Max, who hates travel surprises and likes to be organized, has also prepared a travel folder with pockets and tabs:
- Complete itinerary in the inside pocket in front.
- First tab: Check in information for each stage of the trip. This also proves that she plans to return in less than 90 days, because that’s important in an increasingly immigrant-hostile world.
- 2nd tab: Visa related info: trip insurance coverage, with the coverages page copied and stapled to the front for easy reference.
- 3rd tab, more visa related info: Lodging reservations, printed in every language she’ll be travelling through, so each border can conduct its own checks. Arriving with nowhere to stay is a big no-no these days; no more turning up and finding the nearest hostel.
- Health tab: vaccination info. A lot of places really care about this, so get your shots if you want to travel, and get printouts from your provider. If you can afford it, you can have a travel specialist doctor make a yellow International Certificate of Vaccination, which is accepted everywhere – like the best credit cards.
- Emergency: this tab is particular because Max has underlying medical conditions. There’s a MOLST form, which providees instructions for when someone is unconscious and can’t tell you if they want CPR or oxygen. It should also have copies of prescriptions, which you can get by calling your pharmacist and asking them to print them out. (Some countries require prescriptions hand-signed from the doctor’s office, but electronics are making their way into this process more over time.)
- The pet, naturally, has her own tab. Her health certification, rabies documentation, and whatever else is needed, go here. This includes her microchip number, because pets require a chip for travel.
At the back of the folder, Max has left space to keep brochures and flyers for things she most wants – from safe places to get food, to inexpensive trips, free/cheap sights, and bus schedules. Max looks forward to filling that up, but knows she has to be careful with money because she’s still poor … she’s just staying somewhere a lot cheaper than her home at the moment, somewhere the government is not (yet) committing very messy self-merc.
And then there’s packing. Max has to bring her own self-care mechanisms, which involve a lot of pillows and some extra gear. Being disabled is a lot of work and there’s just no getting around that. Everything that’s most necessary for that work has to come with, or be bought there, and she’s on a tight budget.
Happily, sunshine is free!
Max is an expert at enjoying the little beauties and making the most of whatever blessings come her way. She’s going to have a fabulous time, and so is her service animal.
I’m a little envious, but I’ll be sticking around for the foreseeable. I helped Max with some of her research, though, so there’s likely to be more to come…