{"id":96,"date":"2012-05-22T05:04:00","date_gmt":"2012-05-22T05:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/?p=96"},"modified":"2012-05-22T05:04:00","modified_gmt":"2012-05-22T05:04:00","slug":"pride-of-pwnership","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/2012\/05\/22\/pride-of-pwnership\/","title":{"rendered":"Pride of pwnership"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I transferred my prescription to a new pharmacy today. When I was asked about existing conditions, I said, \u201cCRPS \u2013 Complex Regional Pain Syndrome \u2013 and fibromyalgia.\u201d My tone, I realized, was firm and proud.<\/div>\n
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At first, that freaked me out. Proud? To have CRPS? Just how far have I come to identify myself with this disease?\u00a0<\/div>\n
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It bothered me, but not as much as it should have. I put it on a back burner to mull for a bit.<\/div>\n
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I did some paperwork and watched a movie: Mulan<\/i>, and I don\u2019t think that\u2019s irrelevant. <\/div>\n
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I realized that it\u2019s not having CRPS and fibromyalgia that I\u2019m proud of. It\u2019s having CRPS and fibromyalgia, and still being alive \u2013 still hugely engaged \u2013 still moving to a new place, still sorting out my paperwork, still finding a new adventure, and still organizing that adventure even as it unfolds.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I identify with whatever it took to develop the nerve, courage, and modicum of grace that got me this far. I identify with what it took to discover those who kept me alive, and made that life worth living. I identify with having gotten to the point where the things that I think about, much of the time, have nothing to do with pain, frailty, and other losses. I have this ridiculously awful disease, but that’s not where my life is.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I have CRPS, but the verb “to have” has a number of meanings: to possess, to be in relationship to, to be required, to have a duty or need, and so on. If you’ve ever done any translation, you know what a headache the verb “to have” can be.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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In this case, it might just mean that I own the disease, in the way that hackers mean when they spell “own” with a P: pwn. To pwn something (a device, troublesome software, the CIA mainframe) is to figure out how to dominate it, because you know exactly how to make it play ball — whether that’s legal, approved, or otherwise.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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As it happens, that’s pretty much what I intend to do with CRPS.<\/div>\n
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I’m okay with being proud about that.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I transferred my prescription to a new pharmacy today. When I was asked about existing conditions, I said, \u201cCRPS \u2013 Complex Regional Pain Syndrome \u2013 and fibromyalgia.\u201d My tone, I realized, was firm and proud. At first, that freaked me out. Proud? To have CRPS? Just how far have I come to identify myself with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,17,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adaptation","category-loved-ones","category-perspective"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=96"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=96"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=96"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinganyway.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=96"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}