Fevers, friends, forgetting, and a kind of freedom

With the kind consent of the friend mentioned, I post the following exercise in “radical presence”, or staying sane in spite of the craziness… Bubbles of thoughts are rising through the viscidity of my mind, drifting from side to side, now tending one way, now tending another. Feels like a relapse of … Continue reading

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Fifty One

Guess what? Everything’s up in the air, except me. But don’t worry, it’ll work out. And that, folks, is how you know I’m back in the saddle. I’m not naturally a nervous person, but the years of system and systematic abuse on top of the fried central nervous system left me … Continue reading

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Aw, nuts!

While I was mulling the constancy of nausea and yuckiness, looking for a reason more useful than “it’s winter”, I realized I had relentless cascades of post-nasal drip. The stomach isn’t too fond of relentless cascades of post-nasal drip, because the glucoprotein complex generically called “mucus”, which we usually call … Continue reading

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On trauma in central nervous system sensitization* & dysautonomia

I’ve been mulling this for years and occasionally blog it on a case-by-case basis: Handling bereavement (with digressions): http://livinganyway.com/wp/2014/03/08/threads-on-the-loom-bereavement-and-crps/ An anxiety toolkit I came up with for myself: http://livinganyway.com/wp/2016/01/27/handling-anxiety-and-its-obnoxious-little-friends/ On a surprisingly useful tool which really does help (despite my complaining): http://livinganyway.com/wp/2013/07/16/relentless/ Fortunately for all of us, the blogger at Elle and the Autognome has done … Continue reading

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Isy’s guidelines for taking care of relationships when it’s imp-possible to have them

Relationships can be so fraught! Add to that a disease nobody understands without years of serious effort; unbelievable pain; weird deficits (sound volume? Vibration? Time in the shower? Crowds and excitement? How weird is it that that stuff can make us so much sicker, eh?); forgetfulness; loss of perceptions that tell … Continue reading

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Talking about CRPS with boundaries, perspective, and joy

I’m going through one of those periods where I’m just tired of my body hurting. This is one of those offhand remarks that makes fellow painiacs nod understandingly, offer a kind look or emoji, and move on, but it makes normal (-ish) people with good social skills cringe and stops … Continue reading

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The third toughest job

While I’ve been absent from the blogosphere, I’ve been pushing the rock of life further uphill. I’m cautiously optimisitc about getting it to the top and watching at least this particular tedious weight roll off in a new direction, eventually. Being safe, having survival assured, and being surrounded by loving … Continue reading

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Fixing the brakes

Interesting week here. A dear friend is embroiled in one of those ghastly legal tangles where the vultures are rigged to win. I’m the key defense witness. This comes up later. This whole winter, I’ve been basking — simply basking! — in the sheer delight of being safe, sheltered, warm, … Continue reading

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Make room for joy, especially when it isn’t easy

I’m an old ER nurse so please, trust me when I say that nobody gets a guarantee with this life. Nobody really knows what’s next, and indeed, everything CAN change in an instant. Even for the healthiest. (This is why the legislation torturing the elderly and disabled makes me livid. … Continue reading

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