Ethan, in memoriam


I tried to find a song for Ethan, who did love music, but it wasn’t working. I’m not much of a poet, frankly, but it was the only thing I could do.

Here is Ethan’s poem from me.


We did the impossible quietly
Getting the boat into harbor
and keeping it safe through the night

Tight hugs abeam unstable piers
My little brother, so big

When I thought I'd die of weakness
You showed me my strength
And, smiling, would not accept less

Tight hugs killing off mortal fears
My little brother, so big

Long nights talking and talking
'til your gyroscope turned and you looked
at the first stains of dawn on the water

Tight hugs at the end of the tears
My little brother, so big

When you turned searching eyes upon me
For the integrity that rooted your heart
You had the grace to thank me

Tight hugs through difficult years
My little brother, so big

You were so impossibly larger than life
I wrote you into a comedy of death
And you were the best thing in it.

I miss your hugs, my dear.

It’s really too bad (a bit of staggering English understatement, there.) He had found the right life and the right wife, and I was beginning to think I’d eventually meet his children.

I hope he’s free of the demons that hounded him so mercilessly. Wherever he is, I expect he’s raising Hell — kicking righteous butt and making the world fall in love with him, and doing both with equal, unquenchable vigor.

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