I do well with having rather demanding overarching goals. (Trauma nurse at DC General, software geek at Borland? yeah :)…) I have some good mental and creative goals (books on mythology and CRPS neuro-endocrine-immunology, 501c3 called “CRPS: Art and Spirit”, etc.), but my physical goals are reactive rather than proactive.
Right now, it’s all about beating back the assaults on my function; there’s none of that necessary “F.U.!”-sized stuff on my horizon that can help me bring enough focus and determination to vault over such paltry issues as washing my damn hair. (One side of my face laughs wryly as I say that.)
There’s the shorter CRPS walk/roll/run in December, Quench the Fire!, and that’s a good, reasonable goal.
I need a slightly unreasonable goal, or I can’t really focus. Normal goals really do bore me. Sad, possibly warped, but true.
And this reactive mindset is doing me no good at all — look at my last stallout. Awful.
It’s just awful to be reactive in my goals, and especially in the goals for my horribly challenged physical self — my only vehicle of life.
I have to do better.
I need something more — something a bit larger than life to strive for. (Just ask my mother. I’ve been like this since I was at least 2.)
So… I’m considering running next year’s marathon.
+ I have a year to pull myself together. If you could help hook me up with some kind of structure for training, so much the better.
+ Keck staffs the medical tents, which I find automatically reassuring.
+ It’s slightly crazy, but not completely insane. Perfect.
– Mostly pavement. A real problem. (I don’t have to train on pavement, though.)
I think the Ayes have it. What do you think? And, if I’m in town, I’d be delighted to do the 5/10k at the end of this year. Not as a goal, but as a coincidental benefit.
|It’s all about pacing.|
And, of course, I might finish.
(With a little publicity, this could be pretty cool all around. Fat, brittle, middle-aged, chronic CRPSer turns marathoner. — Huh, that gets MY attention! And how cool if I was not the only one….)
Marathoning is a different mindset, but I think it’s learnable. And learning to do a marathon in a paced, calm, controlled, ANS-managed, non-frantic manner… well, that’s one hell of an F.U. to CRPS!
I look forward to hearing what you think about this… I think 🙂 I really do want your advice and would love to be able to check in with you as I go, so please mull it over. I’m seeing my whole team next week, so I’ll get to do plenty of hashing-out. I’ll blog it and talk it over with some of my old guard this weekend, too, so I’ll be better prepared for our conversations.