Re-Cognition: an exercise in thinking with feeling


Dear Reader, I lost my mind.

It was unfortunate. I had sussed out how best to use the one I had, and whether it was a rather good brain or I had learned to use it rather well, it worked out. I was pleased. In fact, I was smug.

[diagram of old brain style?]

Then the neurogenic pain came. It used up neurotransmitters which I felt I had a better use for. It rewired key parts of my brain, and it did not wire them to code. It cut the shuttle service to numeric functions. It tore out the railroad tracks and 8-lane superhighways I had built with care over many years. It erased whole neighborhoods, like PG&E’s latest gas disaster — but without the warning.

It was interesting, but not in a good way. It was rather a bore to be losing the mechanisms of assessment and analysis just when they would have been most useful.

[transition]

discovered a few things, either that were new or were becoming apparent because they weren’t overshadowed by some other cognitive faculty:
– 3-d space.
– not just lateral thinking, but 4-d net-thinking.
– couldn’t build fresh trees, but could populate the shit out of mature trees I already had.

combined with shocks to the system, letting go of sticky muck I didn’t know I had, plenty of reading on the subject (more than any of my caregivers ever did, I’m sure of it), and what The Shrinkrapper refers to as “A Gift”.

LSAT cards, Neuroscience flash cards, ok … but the only research that held my attn was pubmed on rsd. Not an appy one.

Jeff and his articles. context, interesting topics, know him well enough to comment and sometimes get replies.

Acknowledged that help. That freed something up, because now it seems do-able and desirable to study for a couple hours each day. His articles will be part of it, I hope, for a long time to come, but also I can start work on remedial courses to rebuild a knowledge network in my new brain.

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